Edinburgh – Traveling

Not a Grail in Sight

This is my last really touristy day. Tomorrow morning, I take the train back to London, and then fly home on Sunday. So, probably no pictures on those days. Maybe even no posts at all.

Today, I took a bus tour out of Edinburgh again. My main goal for this trip was to see Rosslyn Chapel, and we got to see that, but we also went to Dunfermline Abbey and Stirling Castle. I was interested in seeing both of these places, so that was cool.

I have to admit, I was a little leery of this tour. It’s touted as the Quest for the Holy Grail tour, and rides on the popularity of Rosslyn Chapel that grew up out of Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code. I kinda hate that book, and I really didn’t want to be sitting through discussions of the Priory of Sion¹ and the Magdalene bloodline, and all that garbage.

Fortunately, no one on the tour seemed too interested in this aspect of it, and our guide instead spent the day filling us in on the stories of William Wallace and Robert the Bruce. Far more interesting stuff, in my opinion.

And I got some neat pictures.

This is the rail bridge crossing the Firth of Forth, just north of Edinburgh. It's almost 125 years old. Apparently, it was being built just after another railway bridge over the Firth of Tay had collapsed, dropping a train into the water and causing numerous deaths. This one is intensively over-designed in order to avoid something similar. — This is the rail bridge crossing the Firth of Forth, just north of Edinburgh. It’s almost 125 years old. Apparently, it was being built just after another railway bridge over the Firth of Tay had collapsed, dropping a train into the water and causing numerous deaths. This one is intensively over-designed in order to avoid something similar.

The rail bridge is one of two current bridges crossing the Firth of Forth here. The other one is for cars and trucks. It’s about 50 years old, and is suffering from being overburdened. Another bridge is being built, and should open next year. I really hope they call it the Third Firth of Forth Bridge.

After this quick stop, we were on for Dunfermline Abbey.

It's actually Dunfermline Abbey Church. This wall is about all that remains of the abbey itself. — It’s actually Dunfermline Abbey Church. This wall is about all that remains of the abbey itself.

This is the grave of Mary Wallace, mother of William Wallace. Because William Wallace was quartered and his remains scattered, this is about the only site where there's a grave that's associated with him. It's an interesting grave - it's in the Christian abbey churchground, but has a number of pre-Christian features: it's got a mound, and is planted with a hawthorn tree, which is the tree of life. — This is the grave of Mary Wallace, mother of William Wallace. Because William Wallace was quartered and his remains scattered, this is about the only site where there’s a grave that’s associated with him. It’s an interesting grave – it’s in the Christian abbey churchground, but has a number of pre-Christian features: it’s got a mound, and is planted with a hawthorn tree, which is the tree of life.

Inside the church, below the pulpit, is the grave of Robert the Bruce.

From Dunfermline, we continued our journey and our history lesson until we reached the Bannockburn memorial.

The whole Bannockburn memorial is pretty huge. There was no place I could stand to get the whole thing in one picture and still be able to tell what everything was. The centre has a flagpole flying the Saltire - the flag of Scotland. Around it, is a stone wall with a wooden ring circling the top carved with a poem welcoming everyone to Scotland. Then there's the cairn inside, with a quote from Robert the Bruce on it and, out the far side of the ring, a statue of Robert the Bruce on a horse. — The whole Bannockburn memorial is pretty huge. There was no place I could stand to get the whole thing in one picture and still be able to tell what everything was. The centre has a flagpole flying the Saltire – the flag of Scotland. Around it, is a stone wall with a wooden ring circling the top carved with a poem welcoming everyone to Scotland. Then there’s the cairn inside, with a quote from Robert the Bruce on it and, out the far side of the ring, a statue of Robert the Bruce on a horse.

Next stop was Stirling Castle. Up until the time of James VI², it was the royal residence.

These are the inner gates, taken from the wall of the outer defences. It's a little smaller than Edinburgh Castle, but otherwise has a similar feel and design. — These are the inner gates, taken from the wall of the outer defences. It’s a little smaller than Edinburgh Castle, but otherwise has a similar feel and design.

This is the Great Hall, where meals were served. It's essentially a big barn with a roof made the same way the hull of a ship is made. The sandstone is washed with lime to preserve it, and the second coat of the limewash is coloured gold. Originally, all the buildings were this colour as a display of the royal wealth. — This is the Great Hall, where meals were served. It’s essentially a big barn with a roof made the same way the hull of a ship is made. The sandstone is washed with lime to preserve it, and the second coat of the limewash is coloured gold. Originally, all the buildings were this colour as a display of the royal wealth.

I tried to get a picture of the inside, but it was crowded all four times I went in, and I didn’t want just a picture of a bunch of other tourists. So, you’ll have to use your imagination.

One of the other buildings is the palace, and it’s got a few restored rooms.

James IV built the palace for his queen, Margaret Tudor, the mother of Mary, Queen of Scots, and elder sister of Henry VIII. He died before ever visiting, which is why none of his furniture is here. This is the room where the king would have met important nobles. Note the colourful faces on the ceiling - they show all manner of people of the day. — James IV built the palace for his queen, Margaret Tudor, the mother of Mary, Queen of Scots, and elder sister of Henry VIII. He died before ever visiting, which is why none of his furniture is here. This is the room where the king would have met important nobles. Note the colourful faces on the ceiling – they show all manner of people of the day.

This is the queen's bedroom. It's been decorated as it would have been in the 16th century. — This is the queen’s bedroom. It’s been decorated as it would have been in the 16th century.

After Stirling, our last stop was Rosslyn Chapel. It’s a beautiful little church, despite the mutilation it has suffered over the years. The restoration is top-notch, and the interior carvings are just overwhelming. But, as it’s a working church, they do not allow photography inside.

So, all I';ve got for you is a picture of the outside. Even the outside is pretty cool, though. — So, all I’;ve got for you is a picture of the outside. Even the outside is pretty cool, though.

The lady who gave us our history talk at the chapel did a wonderful job of showing why the chapel is both important and interesting without resorting to conspiracy theories. She did give us some of the more interesting interpretations of some of the carvings, but stressed that, because none of the original documents exist anymore, no one can be sure what was intended. And that means, she says, that anyone can interpret it any way they want.

A good answer, in my opinion.

Then back to Edinburgh. I’m probably going to turn in early tonight – my long holiday is catching up to me.

And, as I said, tomorrow I start my journey home.

Which was totally made up by a French dude in the 1960s to prove that his family was heir to the throne of France. [↩]
Who became James I of Britain. [↩]

Not A Step But Fashes the Dead

Okay, let’s get this out of the way first.

The Derren Brown show, Miracles, was amazing. My seat was right up front¹, right on the central aisle. At one point, Derren was close enough to me that I could have licked him². I’m not going to say anything more about the show, because it’s best to see it unspoiled. But see it. Really.

As for the rest of the day, I wandered around the Royal Mile for most of it, just kind of taking it easy and seeing stuff.

I found the Witches' Well that Sandy told me to look for. It used to be a fountain, but doesn't seem to have any water feature. This is where they used to burn witches, and the fountain is a memorial for that. There were a lot of witches tortured and burned in Edinburgh. They even had to come up with rules for the Witchhunters - you could only hold up to 13 witches at a time, and could only torture each one once per day. Of course, there was no law about how long the period of daily torture could last, so 24 hours was not uncommon. — I found the Witches’ Well that Sandy told me to look for. It used to be a fountain, but doesn’t seem to have any water feature. This is where they used to burn witches, and the fountain is a memorial for that. There were a lot of witches tortured and burned in Edinburgh. They even had to come up with rules for the Witchhunters – you could only hold up to 13 witches at a time, and could only torture each one once per day. Of course, there was no law about how long the period of daily torture could last, so 24 hours was not uncommon.

This is St. Giles, the church of the patron saint of Edinburgh.

The statue of David Hume in the High Street. He would be very cold in that toga. I wondered about his shiny toe, and found out that it's traditional to touch his toe for wisdom, and that keeps the verdigris from settling - it keeps getting rubbed clean. Yeah, I touched the toe. — The statue of David Hume in the High Street. He would be very cold in that toga. I wondered about his shiny toe, and found out that it’s traditional to touch his toe for wisdom, and that keeps the verdigris from settling – it keeps getting rubbed clean.
Yeah, I touched the toe.

“But do ye never think about the Heart of Midlothian? Folks always spit on it in passing. That granite heart in the High Street near St. Giles that marks the gates of the erstwhile Tollbooth Jail – as nice a bit of demolition as I could wish, that. And there ye have it. The Heart of Midlothian. Of which County Edinburgh is the heart, so ye have the heart of the heart of the heart of Scotland, as ye might say, upon which we customarily spit because it marks a jail that isn’t there. There’s something right Edinburgh about that.” Robin Williamson, Edinburgh — “But do ye never think about the Heart of Midlothian? Folks always spit on it in passing. That granite heart in the High Street near St. Giles that marks the gates of the erstwhile Tollbooth Jail – as nice a bit of demolition as I could wish, that. And there ye have it. The Heart of Midlothian. Of which County Edinburgh is the heart, so ye have the heart of the heart of the heart of Scotland, as ye might say, upon which we customarily spit because it marks a jail that isn’t there.
There’s something right Edinburgh about that.”
Robin Williamson, Edinburgh

One thing that made my day awesome was that I took a ghost tour, and the guide told us about the Tollbooth Jail and the Heart of Midlothian and encouraged us to spit in it, just like in the Robin Williamson poem.

So, yeah, I spit on the Heart of Midlothian, and that made me happier than it really should have.

James was our guide on the ghost tour. His stories were fantastic, and his character performance was great.

Something I really liked about the tour was that it didn’t deal with Burke and Hare. So many tours I’ve been on find any link to Burke and Hare, but this tour, in Edinburgh, where the pair committed their crimes, didn’t even bring them up.

There were better stories: the Duke of Queensberry and his cannibal son, Deacon William Brodie and his mad double life, Sawney Beane and his horrific family.

This is one of the underground sections of Edinburgh. After the Great Fire of Edinburgh, when the city was being rebuilt, a lot of little alleys and closes were covered over by the new construction. They were rediscovered in the 80s. This is Niddry's Wynd, and it was only discovered about 18 months ago. It was lit only by a very faint green lantern while James told us the story of Sawney Beane. Creepy as hell. — This is one of the underground sections of Edinburgh. After the Great Fire of Edinburgh, when the city was being rebuilt, a lot of little alleys and closes were covered over by the new construction. They were rediscovered in the 80s. This is Niddry’s Wynd, and it was only discovered about 18 months ago. It was lit only by a very faint green lantern while James told us the story of Sawney Beane. Creepy as hell.

Then, I had some nice dinner, and came back to the hotel to rest up for Derren Brown. You know how that part of the day went.

Tomorrow, Rosslyn Chapel, Dunfermline, and Stirling Castle. If the Dan Brown stuff doesn’t drive me to kill someone, I leave Edinburgh the next day, and fly back home on Sunday.

And now, for those wondering about the title of this post, I give you Edinburgh, by Robin Williamson.

Well, second row. [↩]
I chose not to. I stand by my choice. [↩]

Towerin’ Tae The Moon

I’m pretty tired tonight, so this is going to be a quick update. Today was my trip up into the highlands.

Our first stop was Callander, on the edge of the highlands. We drove through Doun to get there, which got me thinking of a verse from Tramps and Hawkers. Later in the day, I did see Ben Nevis, but we never got near Crieff.

Then, it was up into the mountains.

This is the scenery around that point, without me cluttering it up.

Looking out over the loch, which I don't know the name of, at the mountains. Note the snow. — Looking out over the loch, which I don’t know the name of, at the mountains. Note the snow.

It's a very pretty spot. I took a lot of pictures. — It’s a very pretty spot. I took a lot of pictures.

From there, we went on to Glencoe. That’s the spot they filmed the denouement of Skyfall in. It’s a very striking, dramatic place, and I very strikingly and dramatically fell flat on my face climbing up the side of a mountain to get a good shot. I was helped up by a little Indonesian woman who didn’t speak any English and wouldn’t let go of me until her daughter translated that I was okay. Though I seem to have bent my glasses a bit.

These are two of the Three Sisters of Glencoe. I was trying to find an angle to get all three when I took my faceplant.

This is looking down the valley at Glencoe. Tell me that's not some top-drawer scenery. — This is looking down the valley at Glencoe. Tell me that’s not some top-drawer scenery.

Now, the next stop was Loch Ness. We ran into more traffic jams and slowdowns on the roads through the highlands than we did trying to leave Edinburgh during rush hour. The plan was to get there around 1:00. It changed to 1:30, and then hopefully in time for the 2:00 boat cruise. We made it there about five minutes before the boat set off – not enough time to grab some lunch first, but we’d agreed to take a half-hour after the cruise to grab some food.

I really wasn't clear on how big Loch Ness actually is. It's huge. Also, deep. We spent about an hour on the water, using sonar to try and spot the monster. — I really wasn’t clear on how big Loch Ness actually is. It’s huge. Also, deep. We spent about an hour on the water, using sonar to try and spot the monster.

Believe me, I was as surprised as anyone!

After the cruise, I tried to get some lunch, but the sandwich I got was abysmal¹. Back on the bus, and one final photo stop.

This is Loch Lagan. Again, beautiful scenery.

Back to Edinburgh, then, just before 8:30. I grabbed some fish and chips on my walk to my hotel, and managed to eat about half of it – fish and chips takeaway portions are huge, but I was starving.

Tomorrow, I am going to walk the Royal Mile and find the Witch’s Well for Sandy. In the evening, I go to see Derren Brown’s show, Miracle.

First thing, though, I need to find some ibuprofen, ’cause I’m out.

First bad sandwich I’ve had in the UK. It was supposed to be chicken, but had about a third of a cup of mayonnaise on it. [↩]

Castellum Puellarum

Edinburgh is a weird city, as far as layout goes. It grew up in a strange way, and that makes it a downright puzzling city. See, first of all, you’ve got the huge basalt mound upon which Castle Edinburgh sits¹. The basalt was resistant to the flow of glaciers, which cut hugely deep gouges around it. When the city grew up, it was Castle Edinburgh, and the Royal Mile, a single, mile-long with 50 or so Closes – tiny alleyways leading to off-street courtyards.

This ran directly down the hill from the castle to the city walls². It wasn’t until the 1700s that the city started expanding, with the New Towns built³ around the old town. These new towns meant new streets and roads needed to be built, crossing over the huge rifts in the land, meaning bridges. The bridges were lined with houses and other buildings, so that they look like streets.

This means that Edinburgh exists on several criss-crossing, levels, streets crossing over each other, with height differences in the range of 50-100 feet. And that makes it hard to find my way around, even with my map app.

And Edinburgh Castle sits high above everything else. You can see it from pretty much anywhere in the city centre. And I thought York Minster loomed; it's got nothing on this place. — And Edinburgh Castle sits high above everything else. You can see it from pretty much anywhere in the city centre. And I thought York Minster loomed; it’s got nothing on this place.

So, this morning, I walked down to Waverly Bridge, and caught the City Sightseeing bus.

The Scott Monument is right near the bus stop. It's a neat, medieval-style monument. Also, the architect who won the contest to design the monument was found face-down in a canal before it was finished. No one was convicted of killing him, but there WERE 54 other architects who might have been miffed. — The Scott Monument is right near the bus stop. It’s a neat, medieval-style monument. Also, the architect who won the contest to design the monument was found face-down in a canal before it was finished. No one was convicted of killing him, but there WERE 54 other architects who might have been miffed.

I rode the bus around the tour once, and got off when it started bucketing down rain at the end. I had a bit of lunch, then got back on, and rode it around to Castle Edinburgh. That’s where I spent the rest of the afternoon.

This is the main parade ground before the castle gates. The whole place was very busy, so I don't have as many good pictures as I might have liked. But it's an impressive gate, flanked by statues of William Wallace and Robert the Bruce. The motto over the gate translates as "You cannot provoke me with impunity." — This is the main parade ground before the castle gates. The whole place was very busy, so I don’t have as many good pictures as I might have liked. But it’s an impressive gate, flanked by statues of William Wallace and Robert the Bruce. The motto over the gate translates as “You cannot provoke me with impunity.”

The way up winds through the lower and middle wards, to the upper ward with the Royal Square. The square is surrounded by a building that holds the Crown Jewels, a banquet hall built by James IV for the wedding of his son and Mary of Guise, the older sister of Henry VIII.

The decorations on the hall feature both the rose and the thistle, emblems of England and Scotland.

There is a display of weapons in the great hall. Here are some big swords, a bunch of pistols and, in the case below, the key to the castle.

This building holds the Scottish Crown Jewels: the crown, sceptre, sword of state, some other jewellery, and the Stone of Scone. This was just returned to Scotland in 1993, with the understanding that it must travel to Westminster to be used in any future coronations. "If it doesn't come back quicker than the 700 years it took last time," said our guide, Frank, "There might be trouble." — This building holds the Scottish Crown Jewels: the crown, sceptre, sword of state, some other jewellery, and the Stone of Scone. This was just returned to Scotland in 1993, with the understanding that it must travel to Westminster to be used in any future coronations. “If it doesn’t come back quicker than the 700 years it took last time,” said our guide, Frank, “There might be trouble.”

This is the War Memorial. No photography inside. But it's a very moving, affecting place. The names of all Scots who have fallen in the line of duty are entered in memorial books, one for each regiment. — This is the War Memorial. No photography inside. But it’s a very moving, affecting place. The names of all Scots who have fallen in the line of duty are entered in memorial books, one for each regiment.

This is Mons Meg, a huge medieval bombard. It was transported using the wheels, but it would be dismounted and set into a trench in an earthworks to fire. It could lob one of those 330lb gun stones up to two miles.

I looked around the other museums here, including the regimental museums. They had the standard captured by Charles Ewart at Waterloo, when he took the regimental colours and gold eagle from one of Napoleon’s regiments. The eagle, unfortunately, is on loan to the National Museum, so it wasn’t here.

Then, on the way out, I saw this.

So, I had this idea about climbing Arthur's Seat. It's a fairly smooth path up the Salisbury Crags to it, and it offers amazing views of the city. But here, I got a good look at the place from the parade ground of Edinburgh Castle, and nope, I don't think I'm gonna be climbing that. — So, I had this idea about climbing Arthur’s Seat. It’s a fairly smooth path up the Salisbury Crags to it, and it offers amazing views of the city. But here, I got a good look at the place from the parade ground of Edinburgh Castle, and nope, I don’t think I’m gonna be climbing that.

I rode the sightseeing bus around to the start again, and then walked back to my hotel, stopping for some dinner.

Tomorrow, I need to be up early. I’m on a tour up to the highlands, including Glencoe and Loch Ness.

Should be fun.

This site has been inhabited for about 3000 years. They have found Roman and late bronze age archaeological sites on the rock. [↩]
Which has a pub called The World’s End, because it was the end of civilized Edinburgh. [↩]
And haphazardly planned. [↩]

Back to Edinburgh

Have to say, Oban was fun, even though I didn’t get to see Fingal’s Cave. The Old Manse was delightful, and Simon and Anna were fantastic. They really went out of their way to make everyone feel welcome, and to encourage breakfast conversations amongst their guests. I was sad that I only had two nights there.

The train ride back to Edinburgh was in brighter weather, so I got a better look at the very striking scenery on the trip. Honestly, a lot of the terrain was right out of story books. Absolutely gorgeous.

I have to say, though, that the Edinburgh train station was the most perplexing I’d been in. I wound up leaving the station through the wrong exit, and my phone directions were kind of messed up. I wound up having to climb up through a steep but interesting alley called Fleshmarket Close.

That led me, inadvertently, around to Edinburgh High Street. I look forward to walking it when I don't have all my luggage with me. — That led me, inadvertently, around to Edinburgh High Street. I look forward to walking it when I don’t have all my luggage with me.

It rained off and on for my walk to the hotel, including when I had to walk down a slick flagstone street. It was so steep, it actually had a handrail.

But I made it. Tomorrow, I go on the city sightseeing bus, and I’ll start actually seeing the city.